Day 2: Something I never leave the house without.

My CTR ring is definitely the one thing I always have when I leave my house (actually I hardly ever take it off!) I love this ring! Katie and I have matching ones :) As cheesy as it sounds this ring really does remind me to choose the right. Not even in the normal way by like looking down at it and thinking "ctr" but in other ways. Like, for example: CTR is spelled in cursive, and the dang T gets caught on EVERYTHING I'm not even kidding. My hair, pants, shoes, blankets I can't even think of all the crazy places right off, but really it gets caught at least once every day, but sometimes when I'm not getting frustrated I stop and think that this ring is actually doing its job, because I have to look at it to get un stuck from things and then "CTR" goes into my head and reminds me to make good choices. I know, I know that sounds super cheesy but its so true! I love this ring oh so very much:)

Starting the 30 day challenge again! Day 1.

A photo of myself and a description of my day.

Well, i guess that i will now talk about my day. Ohh what a day it has been! I woke up real early and got all ready for work. Then walked outside and realized that it snowed the night before! I was less than pleased! I hate scraping my car! Its so annoying. Anyways, I worked, and that was normal nothing too exciting. My job is keeping me pass seasonal, that is pretty exciting. After Work I went to Bed Bath & Beyond to return some stuff and look around. I didn't find anything that I liked really so I just went home. Then Sara and I went to American Eagle! I love that store! Anyways, she bought her some hoodies and such, and i got the cutest necklace i ever did see! I was so excited! After that we went to walmart and stood in life forever for prescriptions! It took forever. Then we came home and just bummed around and then later on went to a wedding reception for a guy that used to be in my ward. It was cute, but weird. there was Christmas trees? I dunno I thought it was strange and just also a tad awkward because I'm pretty sure the last time he saw me I was all awkward and 12 year old like. So that came and gone and then I just came home and bummed around some more. Ate dinner, and watched "The Blind Side" I LOVE that movie. It seriously gets me everything. Not only crying, but thinking. What if everyone was so willing to help people out, think of how differently this world would be! Then I watched "Baby Mama" ate some cheese cake, and now I'm posting this! okay, so not really an exciting day, but it was my day!

I have decided to retry this 30 day challenge. I find writing in my blog helps me a ton! Even if no one ever reads it, that is so beside the point! Its just an easy way for me to vent how I'm feeling in a healthy manner. I always want to post something, but never feel like I have anything important enough to "blog about" :) anyways, have a good night who ever may read this:)

Starting my new adventure at SLCC...

So it is now in the open that I have officially decided to attend SLCC for the spring semester starting in January. I decided for myself that Snow was just not the place for me. Never in my life did i feel so alone and depressed as I did at Snow. I'm hoping that living back at home, and surrounding myself with good, happy people will bring me back to the place that I was before I left to Snow in August.

Tonight I tried registering for classes. What a freakin joke! I went to the Jordan campus earlier today to double check that everything would work out when i tried registering at midnight. The lady said that i was fine to register and that i should get my classes and times planned out. So i went home and did that. I had the perfect schedule! Starting at ten getting done by one and no classes on Thursdays! Well, midnight rolls around and I'm all pumped and ready to start registering so i go in and try adding my biology class (which only had two spots left) so i get check the box and click add class...then it said campus restriction! and wouldn't let me sign up. Instantly I had an anxiety attack! I couldn't believe that that was happening! I was just watching the classes I wanted fill up. Oh my i was so upset! So I'm going to have to try and register at the campus tomorrow! Hopefully it works out!

I also started working at a new job and I love it! I work at Justice in The District! Its such a fun easy going place to work, right now I'm just seasonal so I'm just enjoying that the time i have with the company!

Besides working I've just been hanging out. Mostly with Katie and Zack:) ohh life is just grand! I love West Jordan!! there is no place that I'd rather be then right here in the comfort of my home:)

The past two weeks...

I don't even know where to start. I have so many emotions that I have kept bottled up inside of me for too long now. My life has changed 100% from 2 weeks ago. I have made some life changing decisions that I can never go back on. Honestly, I have never been happier with myself or my choices at any other point in my life. I think i feel this way because every decision that I'm making is because of me, and what is going to help better me as a person.
As of right now, I am doing all the things that I need to be doing to make me happier like reading my scriptures, saying my prayers, going to the temple and being around people that love me and will lift me up. Its AMAZING how much influence these simple things have on my life. My whole time at Snow I was never close to Heavenly Father. My relationship with him was struggling, I couldn't find the balance, time, or desire to read, pray or attend the temple. Now I'm reading and praying every night and getting back into my temple routine. I promise and know with all of my heart that we are supposed to do these things for a reason. I went three months with out them, and those were the darkest, hardest, loneliest three months of my life. I never want to feel that way again.
I love being home and being around my family. The saying "home is where the heart is" is so true. My family means the world to me. I love my big sister more than anyone in the world. We fight, and scream at each other all the time, but i know at the end of day she is the one person in this crazy world that I can always count on. My parents will do anything for me to make sure I'm happier. I'm grateful for their sacrifices and all that they have done for me.
This post is more for me to vent and get my emotions out then anything. I love having the blog, I'm sure that there are only a few people that actually read it, because in the end it is more for me to vent, and get my feelings out somewhere.
Well, anyways, I'm very grateful for those who have helped me these past two weeks, I'm hoping for many more happy weeks to come! :)

Doing what is best for ME.

This is something that I have always seemed to struggle with. I'm such a people pleaser. I love to make people happy especially those who are close to me. I have been contemplating lately some huge things in my life and i just couldn't seem to find the answer to my problems. Sunday night I was talking with Katie, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I have to do what is going to make me happy. Not my parents, sister, friends, family, roommates, teachers, JUST ME.
Like for example: I have made the decision that I will be attending SLCC next semester for school. I have realized that I am not happy here in Ephraim, and there is no reason to stay here if I'm not happy. I think I have known that i wanted to do this for a few weeks now, but i was scared to say it out loud because i was scared that people would think less of me, like i gave up or couldn't do it, but then Sunday night I realized that I can't waste my time caring about "people" and worry about myself.
I am very proud of myself. I have learned so much about myself in my short time in Ephraim. I have learned what situations I can handle and what I can't. I wish that I would have been more self disciplined and tried harder in my classes, but overall I am proud. I have learned one life thing and that is to live for me, and no one else.

One week without Facebook?

For my sociology class I have to write a paper on something that is popular in the world right now, and how it effects the person using it. I decided to write it on Facebook. I'm using myself on the subject and I am not using Facebook for a whole week to study and realize how much i use facebook and what I can done and accomplish without being on it. So for this week starting today October 24 to October 31 I will not get on it. I think that it will be interesting to document on here since facebook is part of my daily routine.

My best friends!!!

Lauren Katie Bird.

This girl is my life. She knows literally everything about me. She knows the big things in my life like my strengths, weaknesses, past, things i regret. Also the random little things like she knows exactly what i'd order off of any menu any place. This girl has always been my go to friend for so many years now. Yes, of course we had a huge fight my Sophomore year where we never talked and spread rumors about each other. It got bad. She told people i was pregnant!!! I know and we're still besties. We got over that dumb fight, and I'm so glad. This lady has helped me with so many things the past few years. Especially recently with college. We always joke that Katie was sent to Earth a year earlier than me so she could experience things a year ahead so she will have the perfect advice for me when I'm going through those situations a year later. She always gives me good advice. She just tells me how it is. Which is hard for me to take a lot of the time, but i know its what I need to hear. Not want to here. Its a big difference.

We have these great necklaces that have a pea pod and two peas in it. And then there is a charm that says two peas in a pod. Which describes us perfectly. We are so alike its creepy. We finish each other's sentences all the dang time. Also we ALWAYS have to back each up. Like if I was to say "its really cold" Katie would automatically say something like "definitely" we just like to make each other feel confident in our words:) Katie and I have so many stories that we will bore our children with one day. I love it. I love her. She's the best. I'm glad that I have her.

Morgan Adams.

Ohhh Morgano. There is so much to say about this girl! Like the fact that I met her in the seventh grade and I hated her with a major passion. We had choir together and I never talked to her, but I thought she was the biggest bih in the word! Next year in the 8th grade we became friends and we discussed how we both thought the same things about each other. I was definitley wrong and I feel bad that I pre judged her! Morgan is SO funny. always making me laugh. Seriously i don't know where she comes up with this stuff. We are roomies at Snow and every day is a new adventure with us. Some days I just want to rip her hair out and scream at her, but more often than that I love her and I'm so glad that we are experiencing it together.
Morgs and I always get in these intense chat about life with out even meaning to. We have the same opinions about a lot of things, which is something that makes me very happy.

Senior year morgs and i were inseparable. We both hated that place more than anything. I could have never made it out alive with out her by my side. On graduation day we were right there sitting next to each other cheering each other on. I love this girl :)

When morgan and I sing together its beautiful. She is an amazing soprano and I sing alto and together it sounds so beautiful. Or at least we think so:) We make crazy music videos together to Taylor swift songs and such. And the Karlee beast, ohhh my. You just have to experience that on your own. I love Morgan Adams. :)

Day 1: Picture and 15 facts about myself:)

1.)I was born on October the 20Th 1991 to goodly parents:)

2.)I cannot drink milk if it isn't mine and doesn't come from my fridge. bleh!

3.)I hate feet. They are icky. I don't even like my own.

4.) I'm in love with David Archuleta.

5.) I'm very self-conscious about practically everything about myself.

6.) I can't sleep unless there is an electric fan running.

7.) I try way to hard to make people proud of me.

8.) I have a hard time forgetting the past and moving on.

9.) I can never decide what my favorite color is. I love far too many.

10.) Jeans are my worst enemy. I would much rather be in my sweats.

11.) I drive with my foot up next to the steering wheel. Its grrrreat.

12.) Matching socks are boring. I always have mismatched socks on.

13.) School has always been a huge struggle, and I envy those who it comes easier to.

14.) I'm awkwardly shy around people for no reason.

15.) I used to be in love with the Jazz player John Stockton.

Whelp, there ya go:)

19th Birthday!

Today 19 years ago I came into this crazy world. Today has been a pretty good birthday so far. I have some amazing roommates that have made it really good. Morgan baked me a cake that was delicious:) Its been very different being away from home, and my family today though. Kind of emotional actually. I know that they love me, and that this is where I need to be right now, but that still doesn't make this day any easier. I feel as if today is just any other ordinary day. I do have to thank my friends though for being so sweet and kind. Like Katie...I think that she has been more excited for this day than me. She called me at exactly midnight and sang Happy Birthday to me Oakcrest style. It was hilarious:) She sent me a card that was just about the highlight of my day. Its good to know that not everyone has forgot about me while I'm here. Don't get me wrong I have had a pretty good day, its just different from what I'm used to and its hard to adjust. I'm very grateful for my family and friends :)

Fall Break!!!!

Wow I have needed this break so much! It couldn't of came at a better time! I left Ephraim on Tuesady after my Math test (which I'm pretty positive I bombed it) I was so excited to spend a few days in West Jordan with my family and friends. This week has been pretty exciting!!!! Tuesday night Katie slept over at my house and we stayed up talking until 3am and then we decided that we just were not tired so we decided to see what people of walmart are doing at this time. We also came to the conclusion that people are a lot more happy to be working at 3am which in my opinion is rather odd. Then we came back to my house and watched Laguna Beach! We decided we love that show!
Wednesday Katie and I went to get my car registered. and $209.50 later my car was registered. RIDICULOUS huh? Then That night Katie and I carved pumpkins! It was so fun!
Thursday I went to the zoo with Dave. This was really fun! I hadn't been there in so long!n I personally loved the giraffes and thought the monkeys were creepy. After the zoo we went to subway and i had the most delicious subway club ever! Then later Katie, Connor, Morgan and me watched Date Night. It was a weird movie but i enjoyed it.
Then today I went to Katie's for a bit and had some panda and played with her niece Kaylie, now I'm just waiting to make cookies with my dad!
Fall break has been great! And its not even over yet! :)

Conference weekend.

This weekend I made the decision to come home so that I could watch conference at home with my family. I also was in desperate need of a break from Snow. I am very glad that I came home this weekend. Whenever I am gone from my family for long periods of time and come home I always feel so grateful for my mom. She does so much for me that I never realized until I left home. I love not worrying about whats for dinner. Something so simple that i never fully appreciated. I LOVE my mamma's home cooked meals. They are so good! She cooked some Delicious chili for my ward's chili cook-off Friday night, and some very very good ravioli things for dinner Saturday night. I appreciate my mom so much! I love that she does my laundry for me when I come home, its also an extra reason to come home!

I also come home to see Katie. I always get so excited on Fridays when I'm coming home to see her. Sometimes I consider going straight to her house just so I can get my best friend hug from her. I know i have not wrote much about her, but she really is the most amazing friend i could have ever asked for. She is so understanding, caring, and just down right amazing. This weekend we just hung out and did a lot of pointless random things, but I'm so glad that I was here to be with her!

On Friday night I went to nightmare on 13Th with some girls that are in my ward. I was extremely scared to go, just the name itself is enough to scare me away, but i faced my fear and decided that i just need to see what all the hype was about. Well, after about an hour into it we were finished, and i walked away very happy that I went. It was scary, but nothing too horrible. I have been more scared walking in my basement alone, at night in the dark before. I am glad I went though, the girls i went with are always great to be around!

Saturday night Katie, Curtis and me sat on Curtis' driveway and just talked, of course Curtis was insulting us like he always does, but something was just different this time. I could tell that we were all older and more mature. I know this sounds ridiculous but it just all seems so different. I was thinking back to the days when we were 12 and sitting in the same spot, discussing simple everyday things no we were talking about big, huge life changing decisions. I am so glad that I have these 2 amazing people in my life for so long. Curtis and I decided that we should name a star as our "best friend star" so when he is on his mission and I am on mine we can look up at it and know that we are still best friends. (cheesy right?) well this was complicated because we couldn't see many stars here in the w. j. so Curtis got this way cool AP on his phone that shows all the stars if you point it in the sky. We ended up deciding that Mercury was going to be our planet, instead of star. He is so funny..sometimes:)

Anyways, this weekend has been just what I needed. Conference has been great and super uplifting. I can't wait to hear two more sessions tomorrow!

Frustration & Confusion.

Sometimes I wonder if there is any genuine real people left in this world. I hate hate hate when people act like they know me, and can relate to me then 5 seconds later its like we never had a heart-to-heart or anything of the sort. Right now I'm in a very awkward, tough situation, I feel like I'm always being attacked from many different angles. In result of this I am changing who I am, or at least who I was. This kills me. I once used to be a happy, funny, optimistic, lover of life type of girl. Now i don't even know if I can fully describe who I am anymore. I hate this feeling of confusion, of not knowing what to do next. I feel like before I came to Snow I had my life planned out of what i was going to be doing. School, Oakcrest, Mission, School & Career. Now I don't even know what I want out of life. I don't know where I stand with so many things. I hate the feeling of not knowing myself or who I am. Its an awful gut wrenching feeling. I thought coming here would help me find myself, not lose myself. I was just getting my life how I wanted it, coming to terms with who I was, and now its like reality has hit and its never hurt more a day in my life.

Roommates!

I have been really lucky to get the roommates that I have, I always heard horror stories of girls living together in such close quarters, but so far nothing too bad has happened. We all get along pretty well. I thought I'd just take a few Min's and talk about each one:)



On the left is Katy. To be honest I thought from the beginning that I was not going to like her, and that we were no way going to be able to get along. She is so chill and understanding. We pretty much share a brain and I'm not kidding! We both have a lot of the same interests and think the same in a lot of different ways! Oh and we both hate feet and anything to do with them! She is super funny and just is always making me laugh!

Next is Morgan. We came down to Snow together. We have been best friends for a few years now and I am really glad that she is down here with me. We have became closer in a lot of ways, and also learned a lot about each other. Sometimes we get in little fights that are totally pointless, but they end up being funny. In the long run, I'm glad she is here with me.

Next is Dani. She is like no one I have ever met. In a good way. She is unpredictable. I love her! She is always making me laugh and making sure that I feel included and such. We are completely opposite in a lot of things, but we still have so much respect for each other. I'm so glad that I have had the chance to meet her!

Last there is Brittany. This girl is crazy! She loves sports more than anything, she is constantly playing one of figuring out ways to go play them. She seems to keep us all in line and help us keep our priorities straight. She is a very laid back girl too, I am very happy that she is living with us! Oh and she makes some pretty delicious bean dip!

This is going to be a crazy journey with these girls, but we have already had so much fun doing random crazy things, like crazy hair/make up, various dances, Denny's at 1am food fights, staying up all night talking and many more! I love them all and I'm so glad that I have been able to meet them all!

Contemplation...

Lately I have been pondering this question a lot. Why am I here in this exact location right now? It it really for me? Is this really what my Heavenly Father wants for me?
When thinking about college a few months ago I was so excited, I wanted nothing more but to move out and to find out more about myself and who I would become, but now I have found out that it is a lot harder than some make it seem. I wish that someone would have filled me in on this, don't get me wrong I do love being away from home most the time, but sometimes its nice to be around people that I know really do love me and want the best for me.
This has been a really hard month for me, I don't understand quite a few things right now, but i know that with my Heavenly Father's help I can get through anything:)

The College Life:)

Oh man, What a crazy crazy few weeks this has been!!
First off, I had girls camp a few weeks ago. That was just what I needed right before starting college. The girls that I was able to serve and serve with are so incredible. Sometimes I wish i could be like them, they are so strong in the gospel and honestly know what they want out life and just have so much going for them. I can honestly say that I KNOW with all my heart that I belong to the true church. Anyways, it was an amazing week up there at girls camp. Oh, yeah, the theme was B.O.O.T. (building on our testimonies) it was so what I needed at the time.

Now for college! There is so much to say about it right now. I have loved this week in Ephraim. I know that this is where I'm supposed to me. Sometimes i questioned if this was really going to be the place for me, but I can already tell a week into this that Ephraim is the place for me! I have awesome roomies that I love so much already. College is seriously the shiz. So much better that that butt ugly school Copper Hills. I'm taking classes that seem really good so far. I'm so thankful that I am able to further my education, and be able to be here with such amazing friends! I love Snow College!!!

"Cant wait to get going, but isn't quite ready to leave."

So what seems to be the hot topic in my life right now is moving out and going to college. I'm very excited for this new adventure in my life, but I'm also extremely scared and super nervous.
Part of me wonders why I have decided to move far from home and everything I have ever known to go live with people I don't know, and live in a foreign place.
I wished away most of my Senior year in high school because I was so excited for college. Now i just want things to slow down.
I can't even exactly say why I'm going to be so nervous, Its not leaving my family or anything like that. I think its just that when I'm here in West Jordan I'm constantly being reminded to be good and how to make right choices. At Snow I will be having to make these choices for myself, and I'm very scared that I won't make the right ones. I'm not saying things too drastic or anything, but just every day simple things.
I know there is reasons I'm going to Snow though, like that I get to be there with my best friend so we can help each other and be there for each other. I'm so thankful that she is going there with be or I really don't think that I'd go.
Life is crazy right now, and is full of life changing events. Wish me the best of luck:)

Wow, okay, so i have been horrible at this.

Wow I can't believe i haven't updated my blog in a few months. SO much has happened. Like, oh yeah GRADUATION! Yeah, that's a big one. That day was so crazy. I woke up super late at 7:15 & I was supposed to be leaving my house at 8:00 i couldn't believe it, so my hair was nothing like imagined it to be which was very upsetting. Well, anyways I got to the "E" center (which is now the Maverick center???) and all the troubles from that morning go away then I'm instantly hit with major nerves of graduating the day I had been anticipating most was finally there & I wanted nothing more, but for it to just all slow down a bit well of course it didn't and before i knew it I was shaking some guy's hand and receiving my diploma...all i could think of is where had the last 12 years gone?? I was in shock. Well after all the jazz we had a little family BBQ at my house. That was fun my family is so amazing I'm so lucky to have them! That night was Senior Sunset there was tons of things to do to keep us graduates entertained. It was so much fun!

Now i have just been playing and hanging out this Summer really. I went to Youth Conference which was AMAZING the theme was "Walk With Christ" it was so amazing i felt so much closer to my Savior just by learning more about him in those few days. We were divided up in families and each family made a flag. My family decided we'd paint our feet because we were "walking with Christ" here is my foot:)

This Summer is really my last one as a kid really. I have just been trying my hardest to make the most of it. So far I feel pretty successful!
Well, this is basically my life summed up!!! Right now I'm just counting the days until i leave for college! I'm so excited to start that new chapter in my life!

Life is crazy good!!!

Wow okay! So, so much has happend these past few days! I feel like i have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off!! Getting ready for graduation is so crazy! I really can't believe that it's only 10 days away!!! I'm so excited!!!
Also, tonight my dad is coming home from Virginia i am super excited and thrilled that he is moving back. Sara is spending the night tonight so she can see dad and such. Also her stinkin cute dog Jixer is too:)
Life getting better and better. Can't wait to graduate!! :)

My life in a nutshell!!

Well I'm new at this. So i will just fill everyone in on my life right now.
Currently the biggest thing in my life is graduating from high school! Graduation is on June 2nd and i can't wait!! This year has brought so many changes to my life, i know there is so many more to come though. As of right now my dad is in Virginia for the next 3 months. It's hard going day by day with out seeing him every day, but i know that there has to be reason for all of this. My mom and i are becoming great friends I feel bad for not taking the chance to get to know her so well these past few years. I'm excited for this summer its going to be so much fun! I will be going to youth conference, oakcrest, and girls camp!! Its really sad to think that its my last year doing all of these so I'm going to make the best of all of them! This summer is also going to be bitter sweet too, because i feel like its my last official summer as a kid. Come fall i will be a freshman in college and that is when my life will really be getting started, but I'm so excited for this new adventure!!